Download PDF , by Victoria L. Dunckley
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, by Victoria L. Dunckley
Download PDF , by Victoria L. Dunckley
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Product details
File Size: 9432 KB
Print Length: 386 pages
Publisher: New World Library (June 23, 2015)
Publication Date: June 23, 2015
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
Language: English
ASIN: B01056HO2A
Text-to-Speech:
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#43,303 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
Reset Your Child's Brain has transformed my children in ways I couldn't have even imagined four weeks ago. I am embarrassed to say that my 3 and 7 year old boys were playing the iPad up to 10 hours a day (they each had their own. I can't even believe that, but they did). I had suspected for some time that the iPad was particularly disruptive to my 3 year old, but I truly didn't think I could 'survive' without the quiet that the tablets provided. How would I get anything done? What would the kids DO with all that time? After googling 'is the iPad bad for kids' and stumbling upon Dr. Dunckley's website and book, I made the decision then and there to take it away. We actually started the fast before I was able to read thr book! The results have been dramatic with my 3 year old.We went from:- 3-5 meltdowns a day- struggling with transitions between activities (putting the iPad down to eat, bathe, leave the house, go to bed, etc),- aggression towards his 1 year old brother,- and just general instability in his personality (constantly walking on eggshells around him)to a child who:- has 1 meltdown or less per day (he routinely has days without meltdowns and it's MUCH more mild when it does happen),- transitions are no longer an issue and do not cause meltdowns- he plays gently and enthusiastically with his younger brother; he even asks if he can hold the baby now!- his personality is so much more even keeled; small things no longer set him off or trigger meltdownsMy 7 year old used to routinely complain how BORED he was (after he had watched every video he was remotely interested in on YouTube). I would say "You have a room full of toys your never play with. Go find something." and he would respond with how boring ALL his toys were and there was nothing fun to do. He now plays enthusiastically with his toys, pretending with everything from Star Wars to building with blocks, to drawing (without using the iPad to think of things to draw). We now have a stash of board games to play in the evenings rather than stare at screens and I've found that I absolutely TREASURE the extra time I spend engaged with them. It sounds sappy, but it's true. I was so worried that taking the iPads away would mean so much more work for me, finding things to keep them occupied and it first, it was more work. But 4 weeks in, they now find their own activities to keep them busy and entertained. I can't believe what a complete turnaround it's been for us. This book was a lifesaver for my family.
I cannot express how grateful I am for this book! I was skeptical at first but tried out the suggestions as a last ditch effort and I really can see it transformed our son's mood and behavior.My 4 year old (about to turn 5 next month) had been acting up quite a bit over the last year, and generally was very moody and temperamental. He was having daily tantrums and outbursts, at home and at pre-school, and his teachers were concerned about his behavior too (he was very defiant, and once even threw a shoe at his teacher when she asked him to put on his coat!) He always seemed on edge, would have meltdowns often, and easily upset by even the smallest thing. We were walking on eggshells around him, embarrassed by his outbursts, and constantly wondering what small thing would set him off next. Our family life is otherwise pretty calm and stable so we just couldn't understand where all this was coming from. After one very upsetting tantrum he had at a relative's home, my husband and I were convinced there was an undiagnosed issue, perhaps adhd or defiance disorder or bipolar ("Dr" Google certainly wasn't helping us, as everything we looked up seemed to describe him). I knew deep down there was my sweet little boy but his behavior was not aligning with who we knew him to be and I was certain this was not normal and we needed to do something to help him.We were feeling defeated and at our wit's end. I was about to make an appointment with his pediatrician to look into having him screened for mood disorders, when that same day through serendipity and grace I came across a link to one of the author's articles online, and then immediately ordered this book and started reading it. Everything described seemed to fit my child exactly, but I was still skeptical. It seemed impossible that something as simple as reducing screen time would cause such a drastic and dramatic difference in moods.Plus, our son didn't have much screen time (or so I thought-- it actually ended up being close to an hour or two daily when we really tracked it) and besides, as we justified to ourselves, he only did iPad educational games. To my amazement (and horror) I found out those "stimulating" and "mind strengthening" games we thought were good for his brain were the root of the problem. We had been pretty careful about limiting passive television, but had no idea that the interactive games on the iPad were even worse!! This was a real eye opener! I wish this was common knowledge.Anyway, before I even finished reading the book, I hid his iPad on a high shelf and took away all other screen time, cold turkey. I figured it was worth a shot before we went down the formal diagnosis or medicinal route.The first couple of days were tricky, as we felt like we had to entertain him a lot more. But I had stocked up on fun coloring books and new toys like Jenga and dominos to offer him anytime he asked for the iPad. We actually didn't discuss the screen fast with him prior to beginning, as I wanted to avoid a meltdown and thought making a big to-do about it would make him focus more on not having the iPad. Instead I just removed all screens without notice while he slept and anytime he asked for it I told him "not right now" and distracted him with something else fun to do. He's young enough that we still have full control over his access to screens. I imagine the older the child the more difficult the removal may be.After the first couple of days our son stopped asking for the iPad and I couldn't believe how easy that transition actually ended up being. To my amazement he started to come up with activities to entertain himself as the days went on. I didn't hear "I'm bored" like I used to and he'd find ways to play with toys in creative ways (for example, using pieces from his art set to act out a soccer match, or arranging his dinosaurs to act out a story). His focus improved significantly too as the days went on. Just yesterday he spent half an hour engrossed in playing with his trainset on his own. This used to never happen before the screen fast, except for when he was playing on the iPad (which was part of the reason why we relied on it since it would keep his attention when we needed some time to get stuff done). We used to use the iPad during meal times too, as a way to keep him seated and distracted enough to be fed during dinner. Dinnertime was challenging at first during the screen fast, but now he seems to be eating better and actually aware of what's going on during dinnertime, not lost in a screen. It's more a social experience now, as eating should be.The most incredible change has been his overall mood. I am simply without words to describe what an improvement he has had during the screen fast. After the first two weeks really it made a huge difference. Even his teachers were commenting on what a difference they were seeing at school, and we had not even shared with them that we were doing the screen fast. He became much more calm and happy and cooperative.I started writing down a daily log of our son's behavior just before we began the screen fast, and every day of the fast, just to record any progress made. As I look back now on my notes I am simply dumfounded. It's incredible to see the issues and behaviors we were dealing with and how quickly things turned around. I am still a bit in disbelief.Recently I went to a friend's house with my son. He played with my friend's daughter while the adults chatted. Never--not once- in his life have I been able to do that sort of thing without dealing with interruptions or meltdowns. We had become so accustomed to his moodiness and meltdowns, especially over the last year, that it's shocking now to see him be able to play happily with his friend and not get bored, not interrupt the adults, be friendly and sociable, and overall so much more easygoing.It seems so obvious now that it was the iPad stimuli causing our son's poor sleep and moodiness and meltdowns. But we certainly would not have made that realization without this book and doing the screen fast.I will recommend this book to every parent I can. I feel like overexposure to screens is such a widespread problem, especially when it comes to educational games. Well-meaning parents like myself think we are giving our children a leg up in our highly digitized world by providing them with educational digital media. We have all heard the dangers of too much passive TV, but the dangers of the educational electronic activities are certainly not as commonly known as they should be!As a parent who was all out of ideas and desperate to find solutions, this book helped our family tremendously and helped our son to reemerge as the sweet, kind, happy boy we knew him to be. It may have potentially also saved us from seeking out a medical diagnosis or medicating him for something unnecessarily.
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